A Random Day With The Akatsuki
by 19sazzy97
Summary: Being villains and trying to take over the world every single day can be really hard work. What happens when the members of the Akatsuki finally snap from the pressure? Rated T for language.


A Random Day With The Akatsuki

**A/N – **Just wanted to let all you nice readers out there that this is my very first fanfic! (squeals with joy) Just be warned about the cursing. (It's Akatsuki, what did you expect?) Oh yeah, when Zetsu is speaking in **bold**, that's his black side. If you've seen the anime/read the manga then you know that the speech with 'yeah' or 'un' added to the end is Deidara. Doesn't mean that every time a different person says 'yeah' it's Deidara talking! :) Another 'Oh yeah', Some characters might be a little OOC (that stands for out of character if you're like how I used to be and didn't know what it means) Okay, I guess I'm rambling. Hopefully you enjoy my story!

Disclaimer: I do not, and never will, own Naruto or any of its characters. (*sniff*) That is the privilege of the awesome Masashi Kishimoto.

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~~~IN THE HALLWAY, AKATSUKI BASE~~~

"OH ZETSU-CHAAAAN!3"

Zetsu flinched away from the loud, high-pitched shout, grumbling to himself.

"Why in the **frickin'** **world** is Tobi acting like more of a **complete retard** than usual?"

The orange-masked nin jumped in front of Zetsu, grinning crazily.

"Uh...Tobi...w-what have you been eating? **Yeah, what the hell is wrong with you today?**"

"HEY ZETSU-CHAN! GUESS WHAT! ITACHI-SEMPAI HAS DANGO DANGO DANGO UNDER HIS BED TEEHEE!" Tobi yelled, running around in circles. He eventually got dizzy and ran into a wall.

"You were in...Itachi's room? **WHY THE HELL WERE YOU IN THERE OF ALL PLACES, YOU BAKA! **Don't yell at him, this is Tobi we're talking about. I'm sure- **DO NOT GIVE ME THAT 'OH, ITACHI'S GONNA UNDERSTAND' CRAP! IF WE DON'T GET OUT OF HERE NOW, WE ARE IN DEEP SHIT, MY OTHER SELF!**"

Sure enough, the sound of a door being slammed sounded from close by.

"**You brought this on yourself, goodbye, baka!**" With those words, Zetsu sank into the floor, leaving Tobi frozen with fear.

~~~IN THE LOUNGE ROOM~~~

*BOOM*

"That doesn't sound good, yeah. What if it's Tobi? Why don't I get to blow him to bits, un?" Deidara complained, getting up off of the hideout's only intact couch and moving to stand next to the hallway.

"Calm down, brat. I can sense Itachi's chakra in there," Sasori sighed.

"WAAAAGHHH NUUUU PLEASE DON'T - OUCH! - DON'T HURT ME ITACHI-KUN PLEASE!"

*insert sound of something shattering here*

"...That just proves my point. Anyway, if you get involved, I'm sure you'll end up losing something...necessary, knowing Itachi."

Deidara paled, then sat on the lounge next to Sasori.

"I guess you're right, un."

"EEEEK!" *crash*

Deidara chuckled. "I had no idea Tobi could scream like a girl, un."

Just then, the blonde fell off of the couch and onto Sasori's foot for absolutely no reason.

"What the hell, brat? Get off!" Sasori exclaimed.

Deidara looked up at Sasori from his spot on the floor. "Sazzy's (**A/N** – that's my nickname, yay for nicknames!) messin' with me, yeah," he whispered.

"HAHAHA! OF COURSE I AM! HAHAHA! THE ONLY PERSON I'VE MESSED WITH SO FAR IS TOBI, AND EVERYONE MAKES FUN OF HIM! HAHAHA! BE CAREFUL I DON'T MAKE HIM GO ALL UBER-MADARA ON YOUR ASS, HAHAHA!"

Kisame ran through the room, screaming about 'killer ice cream'. A large bowl of vanilla ice cream with cherries for evil eyes and a huge gaping mouth soon followed after him.

"I guess Fish Stick wasn't lying then."

Tobi ran into the room wearing a cape and jumped onto the back of the couch, hand on his hips in a heroic stance.

"YUP! TOBI IS ALL RIGHT! Except for bleeding in my insides...BUT TOBI IS STILL ALL RIGHT BECAUSE TOBI IS SUPER TOBI AND SUPER TOBI CAN'T DIE! DUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUN SUPER TOBI!" *insert batman them song here but instead of 'batman' use 'super tobi'*

Deidara facepalmed. "This place is getting way too freaky for me. Come on Sasori my man, let's get out of here, yeah!" he shouted, dragging the redhead out the door.

Hidan stopped them halfway to Deidara's clay bird, a massive bundle of flowers in his arms.

"I have to give these to you cuz you guys are awesome and I have to show you how much I loves you!" he grinned, shoving the flowers at them. Kakuzu turned up next to Hidan.

"And I have to give everybody all of my money cuz you guys are awesome and I loves you too!" He shoved piles of gold coins at the pair. Sasori and Deidara gulped, turned around and slammed face-first into a not-previously-there brick wall.

"HOLY CRAP THE ICE CREAM IS TRYIN' TA KILL ME!"

"DUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUN SUPER TOBI!"

"WHY WAS THE RETARD IN MY ROOM? I WANT SOME SAKE!"

"MONEY AND FLOWERS FOR EVERYBODY YAYZ!"

The stress was too much for the two boys, and they started running in circles singing the Barbie Girl song over and over again.

Pein blinked, then rubbed his eyes and sat up in bed.

"That...was the stupidest dream I have ever had. It's all Konan's fault, I didn't want any sake last night...ooh, I've got such a bad hangover..." he groaned, massaging his temples.

"Konan! I order you to never give me sake again!"

THE END

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**A/N – **Wow, that really just got more and more random as time went on...Anyways...

Will you pretty please with sugar on top and a cherry too review this for me? It doesn't even have to be a good review. If you tell me some stuff I could improve on, or give me some ideas, I could write a new story that's better than this, maybe a serious one...

*NUUU BOO FOR DEPRESSION AND SERIOUSNESS!*

O.o ...Once again, please review!


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